are you safe? – an internal monologue

*stepping into the room*

hi.

I know you can see me, please don’t look the other way
we’ve worked together for 3 years
I know you’re busy. I know you’ve got your life
your kids and your mortgage

and you’re pleasant enough
we talk about the seasons changing
and construction slowing our drives
among other unremarkable things

I feel pathetic, like I’m begging for attention
you know what? don’t worry about it
but you have a depth
I can tell

it’s not like I have major problems
just a handful of minor ones
pretty standard really
but I hurt

did you know that I paint?
yeah – weird hey?
I love it
painting, that is

“what are you doing this weekend?”

my friend died last year
I never told anyone here
didn’t even take time off
I don’t know why

are you ok with this superficiality?
because I’m growing increasingly tired or it
or apathetic
somedays I can’t tell the difference

do you ever daydream about swerving into oncoming traffic?
or off an embankment?
not in a death-wish sort of way
but just for fun?

are you safe…?

“are you safe?”

*exits room*

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