(re)innocence

I want to see life through my son’s eyes.

I want (re)innocence.

the years have left me seemingly jaded and skewed.

I want to see life through my son’s eyes – trusting.

this is nothing new and nothing I haven’t grappled with before.

as my eyes are opened more and more to ‘reality’ I can’t help but think that ‘reality’ was closer at hand before.

I feign at maturity, I motion toward wisdom when all the while it’s all simpler than I’ve made it out.

I want to see life through my son’s eyes – ecstatic.

the drab and dark have left me numb. the conversations have left me wanting. the relationships have left me alone.
but this is not what I wanted. this is not what I started out to be(come).

I want to see life through my son’s eyes – pure, unadulterated joy (yes, joy)

God, don’t let me mess him up too bad.

I want to hold a starfish for the first time.
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